A Year in the Life…..
My life has changed immeasurably during the past year. One year ago today, my Dad had a massive stroke. My life changed forever with that phone call.
The rawness of the time has softened; the need to speak for my Dad when he was unable to speak for himself has passed. The juxtaposition between the richness of the moment and the pain of it has been replaced with pensiveness, bittersweet replays and oh-so-sweet memories.
I have learned a lot: stuff happens; most things are inconveniences rather than tragedies; the Universe continues; love is.
We spend a lot of time in our lives collecting things; what truly matters is what we have inside: the values and love we share. As I continue to wade through papers, I discover little things about my Dad; things that are the warp and weft of the tapestry of his rich, long life. Photos and notes he saved; the deed for the first house they purchased for $14,000, drawings and cards my sister and I had made when we were children; loving notes he and my Mom had shared 60 years ago. I am grateful for these snapshots into his life.
My Dad was sweet and strong; sensitive and unconditional in his support of us. There is a special place in my heart that just gets fuller and fuller each time I think of him. And it is truly ok.
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Not June Cleaver said,
June 20, 2008 @ 9:20 am
I love the way you describe the transition and seeing him in the past.
Larramie said,
June 20, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
Your dad’s qualities have always appeared to be reflected in you, Debra. So it’s more than ok because you’re passing them on to your children…that’s the way love is.
Shauna Roberts said,
June 20, 2008 @ 3:01 pm
Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine suddenly in February (heart attack while shoveling snow). I have some socks that my mother knitted for him back in the 1950s. They’re a comforting reminder of both of them.
Mary Witzl said,
June 20, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
The best things you have from your father are those good memories of him.
My father died from a stroke too, very suddenly. It is hard to lose someone to a long, debilitating illness, but very hard to lose someone this way too, with no time to prepare for it.
There is something terribly bittersweet about going through your parents’ possessions after they’ve died. I have a bundle of letters my parents exchanged in 1949; I can’t bring myself to get rid of them.
Amy said,
June 20, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
That’s a lovely tribute. It is always hard to survive the loss of someone you love. I almost put that in past tense (loved), but that’s not right, is it?
fromskilledhands said,
June 20, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words. I think of my Dad and his goofy crooked smile often.
Meg L. said,
June 21, 2008 @ 10:07 am
What a wonderful tribute. Our loved ones live on in us.
fromskilledhands said,
June 21, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Thanks for stopping by, Meg. You are so right. It is amazing how much my sister looks and walks like my Dad. She even sounds like him sometime. He and my Mom are always with me.
Linda / Lyndi said,
June 21, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
A lovely post, Debra. No matter how long they’re gone, we miss them, but we have the wonderful memories forever.
Linda / Lyndi
Paris Parfait said,
June 22, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
What a beautiful tribute to a very special father. And you’re so right about love – it’s always with us.
Cathy said,
June 22, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
My dad comes to me at odd moments. All there is is love. A fine thing.
Mary Nix said,
June 23, 2008 @ 9:50 am
What a fine tribute to your dear Dad, life, living and passing on. We carry all those who have passed away in our hearts.
I’m sending lots of hugs your way!
Sam said,
June 25, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Lovely tribute to a wonderful father.
I miss my dad terribly – but I treasure all the memories I have of him.
Eryl Shields said,
June 26, 2008 @ 5:01 am
This is a lovely poignant post. My dad died in 1975 when I was only thirteen, but I still have chats with him.
fromskilledhands said,
June 26, 2008 @ 11:31 am
The connections we have with our loved ones are forever, aren’t they.