From Skilled Hands

Over the Backyard Fence

By fromskilledhands ( April 1, 2008 at 12:50 pm) · Filed under Caring, Change, Community, Donating, Gifts, Helping, Heroes, little Blue Santa, One Heart, One World, Passing it on, Questions

It seems to me that blogging is another incarnation of the backyard fence: we chat, share thoughts, ideas and stories, even have a cup of coffee or tea.

The high tech has become the high touch—interesting stuff. This international community supports and challenges ideas, encouraging the writer to expand his or her thinking. Pats on the back are freely given in a world that is generally less willing to do so. We recognize and encourage creativity, and share what we’ve discovered. We may not borrow a cup of sugar, but we certainly help those in need. Isabel Hoskins, has asked us to come together as a community to help. Bella writes:

In the past weeks I’ve been sharing with you some of my friend, Jen’s, story.

She is a single mom and has a six year old son, Jack. She has stage four colon cancer. She is funny and wise, honest and real, beautiful in every way. She is one of my real life heroes and I love her.

Jeni forever changed my heart and life in asking what I would do if I knew I only had one year to live.

And she is living this, not as idea, but a daily reality. Her honesty and courage and love have sent out ripples of change in people’s lives, as she continues to share her journey on her blog.

And now we are coming together to offer her a tangible expression of our care and love.

The power in this is that, as Bella says, “We are not a non-profit. We are just a group of women coming together to support one of our own. We are rallying behind Jen because the reality is it could be one of us and we strongly believe that this is what community does.” Bella and others are planning an auction on eBay to raise money for Jeni’s needs that are not covered by insurance and to set up a trust fund for her 6 year old son. To find out more, please visit Bella’s post. We have donated a Little Blue Santa to the auction.

Jeni asks a challenging question: What would you do if you had only one year to live?
Important question, one on which I am working. I’ll post my thoughts as they become more clear. I pose the question to you: What would you do if you had 12 months left to live on this planet?

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6 comments »

Cathy said,

April 2, 2008 @ 8:37 pm

Well, I can’t really say. I think I’m living my best life right now as much as my present consciousness allows. Who knows how that consciousness would change if time were limited? But I think it’s so wonderful how the internet has become this kind place where people can share their journeys, big and small. How wondrous is it that strangers around the world send so love and other support to a person in need?
Just great. Thanks, Debra, for pointing us to Jeni’s beautiful site.
Andrea said,

April 3, 2008 @ 9:54 am

Hi Debra, how nice to meet you, thanks for coming to my blog:)
I came here, read you post and headed over to Isabel and then to Jeni’s blog. Thanks so much for making me discover you and your friends:)
Greetings from Paris
I’ll be back soon
Andrea
Larramie said,

April 3, 2008 @ 1:28 pm

A year left to live? Realistically, do any of us know we have that much time? So that’s why appreciating and really living each day as it comes are the best we can hope to do.
Mary Witzl said,

April 3, 2008 @ 6:20 pm

This is heartbreaking.

My mother, her sister, and another aunt’s daughter all died of colon cancer. My cousin contracted hers when she was still in her forties.

If I had only a year left, I would probably keep doing what I am doing now: spending time with my family and trying to write everything I want before my time is up. I still have so much to say — both in terms of writing and what I want to teach my kids — that I do sometimes worry I won’t have enough time left to say it as it is. But if I were confronted with the reality Jeni is facing, my answer might change. I do agree with Larramie — that appreciating and living each day as it comes is pretty much all we can do. And it is a lot.
fromskilledhands said,

April 3, 2008 @ 9:38 pm

Cathy, Andrea, Larramie, and Mary—you are all correct–no one of us ever knows what is in store for us. Appreciating each day a it comes, as Larramie says, is so important.

In the past 9 months, I have lost my father, my dear friend and neighbor and the parents of 2 close friends. Another friend just had emergency brain surgery. Who knows what is in store for any of us.

I wish to be able to see the world with the innocence of a child melded with the wisdom of experience. To remember to tell those close to me that I love them. To remember to hug freely. To thank the toll booth operator and the gas station attendant. To recognize that which enables me to see and feel pain and injustice in this world also lets me see and experience the incredible beauty. To know in my heart of hearts that we all share this journey on this incredible blue planet; that there is no way to peace–peace is the way (AJ Muste). To say what I have to say clearly and with kindness. As Mary said, that is a lot.
Laura said,

April 5, 2008 @ 5:59 am

Hi Debra — My sister, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer when she was 40. (She never smoked, no one in her family smoked — no “explanation”.) Her husband immediately cleared several acres of their land and put in a pasture and stable and bought two horses. It had always been a dream of hers to have horses. I have a pic of her, bald from the chemo, wearing her wellies, toting a bucket from the stables. I really think that her love for having these horses helped her get through some scary stuff.

She lived about 2 and a half years after diagnosis. She kept her job — second grade teacher — for as long as she was able, took two vacations with her husband and teenage sons, had a weekend in Chicago with her friends from college, met my parents for coffee one morning a week, planted flowers in the garden.

I think that she tried to do things that we all say we’re going to do in our lives, intend to do “someday”. It’s easy to take life for granted and let the days slip by. Being consciously “here” and feeling gratitude for the wonderful lives we have — I think that’s what I get from people who know their time left here is short.