From Skilled Hands

A Celebration of Life

By fromskilledhands ( July 7, 2007 at 8:20 am) · Filed under here and now

My Dad died Monday evening. He was pain-free and relaxed in in Hospice bed; my sister and I were nearby; Hospice staff standing, silently witnessing the transition.

We had a celebration of my Dad’s life yesterday. The chapel was over-flowing. One man had been in kindergarten with him. My dad was 86. People from his play reading group and his book club. People I had known all my life and hadn’t seen for years. People whom I had never met. People who had to tell me when their fathers had died. My mom’s brother from Cincinnati came. I didn’t know how important to me it was until I saw him. The service was at 1:00pm; then we went to my sister’s house to celebrate his life. It was a great party. My Dad would have loved it. Photographs from all stages of his life, memory books for people to share their thoughts, enough food to feed an army. Surrounded by the warmth of family, friends and acquaintances. Several people have called and told us they are still smiling. I think my Dad is smiling his crooked grin reveling in the joy of relationships, basking in the love of family. I wouldn’t be surprised if he and my Mom are dancing under the stars to the strains of the Anniversary waltz.

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12 comments »

Larramie said,

July 9, 2007 @ 1:38 pm

What a lovely and loving legacy. My sincere condolences to you and your family, yet may you keep on smiling.
fromskilledhands said,

July 9, 2007 @ 6:38 pm

Thank you, Larramie, for your sweet thoughts and kind words. I smile when I think of my kind, gentle father, escorting my mother through the sky blue pink clouds.
kris said,

July 9, 2007 @ 8:43 pm

Debra, I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you provided a loving send-off for a well loved man.
Mom of Olivia and Jerome said,

July 10, 2007 @ 3:34 am

I’m so sorry for your loss…

My sincere condolences to you and your family.
Meg said,

July 14, 2007 @ 11:07 pm

I’m sorry for your loss. I can feel your love for him coming through these posts.
fromskilledhands said,

July 15, 2007 @ 8:48 am

Thank you Kris, Mom of Olivia and Jerome, and Meg,
My Dad would have had a wonderful time at his celebration! He was so clear about his choices and it was an honor to help him see them through. We all miss him.
Kris said,

July 19, 2007 @ 8:21 am

My sympathies on the passing of your Dad. I’m happy that he lived a long and full life, and that you could be there for him at his passing.
Rebecca (felting and living sustainably in rural Ireland) said,

July 22, 2007 @ 4:06 am

Glad you found me, and that I found your posts. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum a year ago to cancer, and my Dad passed on 7 years ago now, too. The illness phase was so difficult. The ceremony we had to celebrate their lives went down in the history of Ireland! Here there have only been religious funerals, both my parents wanted something different … we had readings of their favourite poetry, paintings of theirs, their easels and paintbrushes on display, photo albums, passages from favourite books and music they had chosen. Sounds like you had something similar and very beautiful. The memories of the celebration stay and bring smiles. Many people are still telling me years later that Dads funeral was something they had never seen before, and thoroughly loved being part of it. Mum loved it so much, she had already written hers, and chosen music etc, and even chosen and booked a venue! So thanks for your posts, they have roused feelings in me, tears, joy, and healing too. Thinking of you and your family.
Joni Lantry said,

July 25, 2007 @ 11:30 pm

Your message filled the pieces of my heart with comfort and melancholy. My mother, best friend, and artist with many awards, is very ill and somehow, your thoughts of your father eased my struggle slightly. I enjoy your establishment and will visit as often as I am nearby. Thank you for your words and your kindness.
fromskilledhands said,

July 26, 2007 @ 8:46 pm

Kris– I am so grateful that I was there when he died. His lived a good, long life; this was a gift in and of itself.

Rebecca–I, too, smile when I think of the celebration honoring my dad’s life. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Joni– I am sending you warm thoughts and best wishes. I so understand what a difficult time this must be for you. It is so hard to find solace and balance. Life seems so slow and fast at the same time. It is the being more than the doing that gives meaning. Remember to take care of yourself.
getsheila said,

September 4, 2007 @ 12:11 pm

What a beautiful tribute. I am sorry I am so tardy with this. Just catching up on my blog reading. I know the pain of loss will never go away but I hope it has eased for you in the past weeks, if ever so slightly.
fromskilledhands said,

September 5, 2007 @ 8:46 am

Thanks, Sheila. Today I am meeting the agency that will pick up the remainder of Dad’s things. We’re donating them to a group that gives,rather than sells things to people who are starting over. This feels right. Then I will finish cleaning the apartment and return the keys to the custodian. This feels pretty weird to me.
I still start to dial Dad’s number to tell him things….